I don't mean that this lowlife should fall on his sword in the way that the Japanese commit seppuku when they have brought dishonor to a noble cause, because there is absolutely nothing noble about the Tea Party or the more deranged elements of the conservative movement.
I mean that he should fall on his sword because any other way of seeing his rancid guts spill out would mean jail time for someone, since this isn't the 1960's anymore, and Breitbart isn't a black man fighting for justice, like Hosie Miller, Shirley Sherrod's father, who was shot in the back by a white farmer, but 2010, where Breitbart is a white man fighting for the right to oppress the truth about who he and those like really are at every turn.
Putting Breitbart on TV last night for his side of the story in this god awful mess that swirls around Mrs. Sherrod's inspirational speech at a NAACP affair that happened over 20 years ago as if he is a legitimate voice is like interviewing James Earl Ray after he was convicted of killing Martin Luther King Jr. and refusing to hammer him with questions about why he pulled the trigger.
The question that Mrs. Sherrod asked last night when she appeared on CNN - "why? Why are they doing this?" - is the same question African Americans have been asking since the beginning of our days on this continent.
I could go on and on with this line of reasoning, but if you are reading this, you have a pretty good idea of where I am headed, and if you don't, you can click this link and "marinate on THIS for a minute", as my more ghetto slang inclined buddies would say, while I get back to the metaphorical flaying of some more of the flesh from our wannabe gangsta white supremacist channeling Mr. Breitbart's ass.
Extermination of the Tea Party is at the top of my Christmas list, but you already know that if you read this blog regularly. If I am lucky, when I finish writing this, I will have one of those nice, long, delicious dreams in which I am a giant wearing an exterminator's uniform, with an enormous can of poison spray that affects the central nervous system of those who insist on elevating human excrement like Breitbart and Glen Beck and even that fake apologizer Bill O'Reilly and the rest of their gang who can't hate straight the way commercial bug spray zaps those nasty critters that occasionally infest your house.
Although, being a realist, I am more inclined to believe what I can see - that if you bundled all of the white hate hustlers like Breitbart who get rich by driving the level of racial animosity among the fringes of white America into a frenzy together, hate hustlers like want-to-be-white Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity - if you bundled them all together and put them into a gigantic space shuttle and rammed it directly into the center of the sun, a thousand years later, when a random solar flare finally spit out the remnants, you could still see the hate these people have encasing molecules of their DNA like protective casings so they might spawn again.
I'll get somebody to sharpen that sword for you, Mr. Breitbart, if you think it will have trouble cleaving through your thick skin.
My buddy from Alabama is right - the Tea Party should move its headquarters to Montgomery, Alabama, the home of the First White House of the Confederacy. It would be a perfect match for their Confederate state of mind.
Make no mistake about, Mr. Breitbart - you and your cohorts clumsy and ham handed efforts to control the political narrative in this country are not going to work. There are too many voices out here this time, too many voices that aren't controlled by Rupert Murdoch or GE or whoever owns the other major networks this week. We see you. We know who you are. And we are willing to go toe to toe with you every day of the week and ten times on Sundays. We already have your place on the wall in the Hate Hustlers Hall of Fame reserved, right between Eric Rudolph and Timothy McVeigh.
The NAACP, which seems to have found a new reason to live, should keep up the good fight. If Ben Jealous does nothing else for the next ten years but relentlessly antagonize bullshit race baiting organizations and those like the Tea Party, which obviously have no problem harboring hate hustlers and white supremacists he will have done yeoman's work at keeping the premier civil rights organization relevant in the new millennium.
Where is Kanye West when you need him? He could boil this whole thing down to one of those embarrassing catch phrases that radio stations across the country would play day and night the way they did the "George Bush don't like black people" song. Is there a rapper out there in need of a hit? A record producer out there who's got a dope beat that nobody has recorded over yet that he can donate to the cause? A lyricist who can work the name "Breitbart" into the hook?
Blaming the president for not responding to this properly is like blaming the fire department for not getting to your house fast enough after the neighbor's bad kid sets your house on fire. It would be nice to turn Obama into a black superhero, but he is just a president, doing his job one day at a time. And in case you are too slow to follow that metaphor that opens this paragraph, Andrew Breitbart is the bad kid - a racial arsonist hell bent on doing whatever he can to destroy the fleeting progress America has made towards racial equality.
Every once in awhile, though, these racial arsonists fuck up and set their own damn houses on fire.
The problem you've got, Breitbart, is that I will be the one answering your 911 call.