There is a liar’s convention on my TV every night.

It is hosted by the networks, every last one of them, from stone faced Brian Williams to the weasel-like Wolf Blitzer. Even Shep Sheppard, as dogged as he is in his determination to differentiate himself from the rest of the gang at FOX News, has succumbed to the pressure of maintaining the status quo. The main stars of this liar’s extravaganza are “anyone from BP who has their mouth open on camera.” The supporting cast includes several departments of the federal government, with a special daily cameo by the White House.

The president, to his credit, has shown some outrage, although in that controlled manner that suggests he can switch it off in an instant if he needs to attend a signing ceremony or a fund raising gala. But in the end, he too is complicit in this farce that we call our national response to the British Petroleum Oil Spill. I have committed to writing the phrase “British Petroleum Oil Spill” at least ten times in this post, mostly because if you search the term “British Petroleum Oil Spill”, ten percent of the articles want to know if the company can “bounce back” from this.

“Bounce back?” Can you believe that? As if this is nothing more than a minor leak that can easily be contained, controlled, sopped up, or skimmed off, the recovered oil and seawater mix ready to be processed and refined just in time for you to buy it at the highest price of the summer when you are on your way to grandma’s AGAIN because the beach is still closed.

But back to this liar’s convention.

Is Sarah Palin’s dumb ass now teaching the media remedial geometry? Has the entire collective known as the mainstream media been reduced to same role Palin plays, parroting the talking points of BP so much that they don’t even pretend to ask real questions anymore?

You mean to tell me that BP, who refuses to measure the rate of flow coming out of a 21 inch pipe pouring oil into the ocean due to tremendous pressure, gets to stand their lying asses up in front of TV cameras and state WITHOUT ANY PUSHBACK FROM THE PRESS that they are now “recovering 20% of the oil pouring out of the ruptured 21 inch pipe.” Based on what? Did they just pick a number that might sound like “progress” on TV?

If you don’t know how much oil is pouring into the gulf from the British Petroleum Oil Spill – call this “X” – then how do you know that you are capturing 20% of X? The only thing you know is that you are capturing Y% of X.

Back to Follow Up Questions 101 and high school geometry. If you have a 21 inch pipe, the circumference of this pipe is 65 inches, and the area of the pipe – the big empty space in the middle the oil is flowing through – is a whopping 345 inches.

This is a big ass pipe.

If you have a 4 inch pipe, the circumference of this pipe is 12.6 inches, and the area of the pipe – the big empty space in the middle the oil is flowing through – is a pedestrian 33.5 inches.

Maybe my own math skills are deficient, but without doubling the rate of flow in the 4 inch pipe – a rate that even now is a deliberately stonewalled unknown – there is no way a pipe with a volume that is 10% of the size of the ruptured pipe is carrying anything close to 20% of whatever “X” is to the surface.

High school chemistry and physics teachers, help me out on this one. Oil company engineers who know what the inside diameters of these two pipes are likely to be - let me know how much difference those dimensions would make.

So why are the people responsible for the British Petroleum Oil Spill given a free pass by the media? Why hasn’t Barack Obama showed me some "Change I Can Believe In" and ordered BP to step aside so we can measure these all important conditions like “rate of flow” and “psi” at the scene, 5,000 feet underneath the surface of OUR COASTLINE, especially since we are going to spend billions just to deploy the Coast Guard and the government and military personnel on land to help with this clean up? The ultimate irony? Government departments, even as you read this, are probably paying BP for at least a portion of the gas they need to operate their vehicles and boats and heavy equipment.

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