S. is downtown tonight with the Resident Diva at Phillips Arena for the Alicia Keys concert, which means I have to yell at the TV by myself.
But there's nothing to yell at tonight. The "Killers for Christ" interviews on CNN are ridiculous and redundant - "so why did your brother do this? You didn't notice anything going on with him?"
Joy Behar has finally taken a break from the seven day a week marathon schedule of her show, but she's got Valerie Bertinelli, who seems to have problem reading her cheat sheet, as her fill-in host.
And then I turn to FOX News to find Sean Hannity holding a revival in the Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley in front of the whitest white people I have ever seen outside of North Dakota.
The only thing I could think of as I watched this shit was Elmer Gantry crossed with The Flim Flam Man. Hannity was getting his audience riled up pretty good, but unless he's got a time machine laying around somewhere, there is no way he can make the rest of us disappear.
The thing I began to wonder as I listened to these people, who are convinced that simply by being elected to office and cutting taxes and unregulating business and worshipping unfettered capitalism and repealing or rewriting so-called "liberal" agendas, this nation of 300 million plus people would return to the mythical "good old days."
How many times can you possibly say "Ronald Reagan" in one hour? How many times can you invoke the term "liberal media" before someone begins to actually measure who really delivers the majority of the media in this country?
By the time I switched to Nancy Grace, my patience had worn thin, partly because Twitter had cooled off, so I didn't get to find out just how they planned to compare Sandra Bulloch's famous cheating husband ordeal with Elin Woods famous cheating husband ordeal to figure out who has been wronged the most.
Now on HBO Bill Maher and his collection of dopers and drinkers are holding court - Christopher Hitchens looks like he has dropped by to take a break between Bar #4 and Bar #5 - where they are trading insults about the Catholic Church's abuse scandal.
I haven't even been moved to yell one of the run-of-the-mill four letter words I normally warm up with when someone on the tube gets me hot.
Oh well - Christopher Hitchens doesn't need to be drinking alone - plus he just said "suppose you and I were drinking a martini" - so I guess I'll get a beer and try to figure out how to get invited to the next GOP "Young Eagles" strip club outing.