Star Trek Almost Blew Me Out Of The Theater


My ears are pretty sensitive - not only can I hear cars coming down our street, I can usually differentiate between the neighbors and the residents of my household by the way each car's motor distinctively whines as they pass over the last little incline on the way to the house. Even after allowing for this, I still thought the sound was too damn loud at the movies yesterday. Why were we there in the first place? S., in her own inimitable way, had requested a trip to the movies to see Star Trek for Mother's Day.

I'm not an action adventure movie fan. Neither is the Resident Diva - she inherited none of her mother's love for science fiction. Growing up, I couldn't stomach watching more than five or six of the original Star Trek episodes from the television show when they came out as reruns in the seventies. So even though this was the kind of science fiction movie outing only S. and her Number One Son could appreciate, since he has moved away from home, S. kind of had the two of us over a barrel. Or maybe this was payback for making her sit through Soul Men, the rambling, expletive larded Samuel L. Jackson and Bernie Mac buddy movie I had to go see when it came out.

But back to this super surround sound mega bass blaster system they've got in these in these metroplex theaters these days - were the movies as loud back in the seventies and eighties as they are now? Or am I remembering it wrong? Our memory has a tendency to play tricks on us, recalling just enough of an event to be able to mold our remembrance into a form suitable for supporting whatever line of thought we are pushing today. And I liked loud music back then, so I may have been subjected to the same level of decibels then that I was yesterday.

I had to call my buddy afterward. "Remember when our parents used to tell us we were playing the music too loud? They were right."

The only good thing about the movie being so damn loud was that I didn't fall asleep, which is what I used to do back when I would take the Resident Diva to see those cartoon movies that were all the rage ten years ago.

I'm no movie critic, but I couldn't quite get a grip on the story. It seemed a little too close to the Star Wars storyline, especially when Leonard Nimoy appeared out of nowhere to play a future version of himself. All I could think about when he tried to give the brash young James T. Kirk some words of wisdom was Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The guy they found to play Bones was spot on, with a face that looked so much like Deforrest Kelley from the TV series that I had to do a double take. I guess those Irish genes always ring true.

And if Zoe Saldana, who played Lt. Uhuru, can't do anything else, she can throw on a soulful crying jag like nobody's business. As a matter of fact, I can't think of a movie I've seen her in where she isn't crying her eyes out in at least one scene.

But how serious can a movie be when it's based on the television antics of William Shatner?

Otherwise, it was pretty standard for a "blow everything in the galaxy" up kind of movie, especially when you already knew that the main characters, Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, were going to still be alive at the end. At least until they showed Tyler Perry running the StarFleet training school.

Tyler Perry? All three of us went "WHAT?" at the same time, looked at each other to make sure we weren't seeing things, then laughed out loud.

Maybe Mr. Perry should have worn the dress and the wig he uses to play his signature character "Madea" that he's made famous in his own movies instead of the Star Fleet garb he had on - he probably would have come across a lot more masculine and authoritative than he did as himself. Maybe Samuel L. was too busy making one of the fifty movies he stars in every year to squeeze in some time for this part.

The thing I do like about movies like this that are in the Star Wars vein is the way the screenwriters are basically retelling classic stories, dressing up Greek mythology and Shakespearean plot lines with technical jargon and future speak. Which means that even if the actors sometimes bring the wrong temperament to their roles, or the special effects people get carried away with extended battle sequences, you can still end up with a pretty powerful story. It's really hard to go wrong with "good versus evil" and "the prodigal son returns".

The best thing about the whole movie, at least for me?

We were out of the theater before 3 pm, just in time to catch a nice Sunday afternoon nap.






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2 comments:

Lady Di said...

I saw it on a free pass a week ago and it was o k. Out theater, near DC, was packed. People where in those 3/4 frontmost rows that NO ONE wants to be in... really. Anyhow, The only character from the series that really ACTED like one from the sries if it was needed (or not) was the Spock guy, to a point. Thrre's a tag line being connected to the movie that reads something like "definitely not your father's Star Trek".

This is so true as it was kinda confusing and yet very different. Tyler Perry threw our audience into a gasping laugh. I think some claps too. He wasn't need for me as he did nothing for the trueness of story. I think this was his favorite show ever and he just had to be in to to get that out of his Madea system.

Spock showing up was good but lame. I wanted him to have been more dark and deeper than they softly played him. Age withstanding, it was meager to me. I was just glad they brought now one else out of the ST retirement home for this. I doubt any of the others would have wanted to do it.

Sometimes revamping old shows and/or cartoons to HUGE screen tends to leave out a lot. This is another one of those type scenarios. BUT... this was a HECK of a lot better than 'Next Day Air'. HEY... I had free passes there too, so don't beat the freebie queen down. Next free movie, this next Terminator thing. *ugggghhhh*. I hope 'Angels & Demons' pass is in the works for real. I love movies as you can probably tell. Action, Adventure, Drama, Mystery, Thriller... along those lines.

Lady Di said...

Sorry for the grammatics and typos. I'm trying to get my 'Tweet' on over here. *laughs as she rolls over to that post*

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